i'm going to rant.

school starts next week, and i'm not prepared at all. i wish there was 3 more weeks of summer left. then i could be ready to go back. i love being busy, but being loaded is 20x more different. i miss everyone that i haven't seen this summer. i want to go back to ballet. soccer's going alright. i really do like it. but i miss ballet even more. relationships are tough, but can be worth it. i'm scared shitless for what's to come this year. i just want to freeze time and keep going, and unfreeze it when i'm prepared. and ready . for everything.
stress.stress.stress.stress.stress.stress.stress.stress.stress.stress.sucks.
i don't think i have it in me to take on another responsibility. i wish they'd all just go away, but i know that no way in hell that'll ever happen.
i've escaped into my room numerous times for the sanctuary of peace with my piano and guitar; i haven't painted in a while. booo. i really need to write down my soccer schedule, make my bed, and change the sheets. they're purple now and i want my yellow butterflies back on it, god damn. i need to swiffer to. the dust. needs. to die. i need to clean like a mad woman. even though nothings really messy, i have extreme ocd. i need a hug. a big. hug. and for someone other than myself to tell me everything's going to be okay.

shit hit the fan, and my world's seem to of gone straight to hell. i feel like i've cursed more than the devil, and if i walked into church right now i'd burst into flames. summers only 2 months. and yet; it seems soo long. a normal 2 months of school seems short. not long. short. i made a new friend today, i like making new friends! it's super. i sound extremely bipolar right now, this i realize. but i could care less. a few minutes ago; ^ way to the top. i felt like screaming. now i'm actually laughing at little. at how ridiculous this may sound. i'm going to be posting a ton today/tonight.

urg. bad thoughts're back. these memories, are making me meltdown..